Reach for the stars!You stand on a distant planet
Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
You're a winner!Welcome to the Space Olympics
The year 3022
Take part in a grand tradition
Your name echoes in the halls of the universe!Believe in yourself
Take your game into outer spaceEvery single galactic athlete
Needs a coded ID badge
Drug tests are mandatory
You're a winner!
The Athlete's Village is on Zargon
You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your ass out the mini bar!You're the best in the world!
Brace yourself 'cause there's no gravityYou're in the motherfuckin' Space Olympics!Let it be known by every nation
You'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget snafu
And food funding is insufficientWe can't really enforce a curfew
As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
With hosting a sporting event in spaceAttention all athletes
There are minor scheduling adjustments
Space disc is totally canceled
Space swords is totally canceled
Space luge is also canceled
And all other events are pendingWelcome to your Space Olympics
All the oxygen has run out
And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destructAs you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hordes
And as I stare death in the face
I know my sins will take me to HellYou do it for the love
My love
And there ain't no woman that can take your spot my love
